Broken
by Bakura's Guardian Angel
Summary: "And I almost couldn't control it. This...other presence inside of me. He was willing to go all the way against Kaiba...I'm afraid of this spirit inside of me. So afraid, that I will Never duel again." First Person Yuugi, set in Season 1 Episode 24. Yuugi finds that, for the first time, he is afraid of the Spirit of the Millennium Puzzle because it is something he can't understand.


A/N: Back, after months of Hiatus, and here with something all new! Inspired by Season 1 Episode 24. Please, Enjoy...

* * *

I almost couldn't control it, this…_other_ _presence_ inside of me.  
_He_ was willing to go all the way against Kaiba.

I'm _afraid_ of this spirit inside of me.

So afraid,  
that I will  
_never  
_duel again.

* * *

"Surrender, Yuugi, unless you have the courage to unleash your attack."

…_I must._

_**I can't.**_

_WE must!_

_**No, it's not right… There has to be another way.**_

_There Isn't. _

"Kaiba, I've never backed away, and I'm not starting now. Celtic Guardian, Attack his Blue Eyes!"

_**No!  
**__**This is Wrong!**_

_**STOP!**_

* * *

Time slowed to a crawl, and it was as though my mind had suddenly become encased in crystal.

I felt trapped, stuck, helpless, and unable to move. My eyes were windows out of a body that was no longer mine, and here I sat, an observer inside my own head. In sickening stop-motion, Anzu ran towards me, her voice a muffled blur. But I couldn't answer. All I could do was listen, helpless, as a foreign entity used _my _voice to declare an attack that I knew… I _Knew_…was going to send Seto Kaiba plummeting off the edge of Pegasus' castle turret to his death.

Suddenly, I was aware, aware, as I never had been before, of this thing—this Spirit—that lived in the depths of my Millennium Puzzle. This being that had taken control of my body. It was strong, and it was confident, and it was ruthless…and it was going to kill Kaiba.

_No, no, NO! _

I screamed in silent desperation, fighting back against the ancient power that had muted my voice, and turned my arms and legs to lead. The Spirit felt my struggle. He felt it, and for just a moment he fought me, clinging with an iron will to control of a body that he had no right to be in. I pushed back, pushed with all I had, and it was mental tug-of-war.

There was a tearing sensation, and pain spread through me. But I couldn't stop. Not now. I gave one last pull, the ripping feeling screaming through me in a burning wave. All at once, I felt him hesitate…and he released control to me.

Time sped up again with a jolting lurch.

I had only seconds, and there was no time for indecision.

My voice exploded out of my chest, "_**STOP!**_"

The Celtic Guardian slowed to a halt, his sword falling, the tip scraping against the brick walkway of the annex. I collapsed, my legs giving out from under me, and I fell to my knees.

Anzu came to a stop before me. There were tears in her eyes. Her voice wavered. But her words were lost on me.

As though in a dream, I heard Kaiba mock my decision. I heard him declare his attack. I heard my Guardian cry out in anguish, and I felt the vibration on my arm as my LifePoint counter dropped to zero.

That was it.

I would never challenge Pegasus.

I would never save my grandfather.

I had been _so close_, and I had failed.

And yet, _right at that moment_, none of it mattered. Because I could still _feel _it inside of me. It was a vast and distant, unfamiliar place in my soul.

A place I instinctively knew that _He_ resided.

Tears welled up in my eyes, brimming over, clinging to my lashes, and sliding down my cheeks. My whole body began to shake. I felt fragile, my insides bruised and torn, as though everything in me had been ripped out and then haphazardly glued back together.

_Why, _I wanted to cry out to the shadowy presence of the Spirit in my head, _Why would you do this to me? I thought we were a team! _

_I TRUSTED you!_

And I had. My shoulders shook, and the tears came harder as a new ache entered my chest. It took me only a moment to recognize it as betrayal. Because, yes, although barely even aware of his existence, I had Trusted this Spirit. I had trusted him with my life, and my friends' lives, and my grandfather's life. Even before I really knew that it was an entirely other being nudging me one way or another, I'd trusted him.

And, I thought, maybe there had always been a part of me that knew he was there, and that was comforted, even strengthened, by his presence. It was like having a protector, a guardian angel. I had come to count on, to _rely_ on, his guidance. With him there, gently pushing my actions, I'd felt as if anything was possible.

I _Could_ win this tournament.

I _Could_ defeat Pegasus.

I _Could_ rescue my grandfather.

Because we were a team. My secret guiding spirit and me.

But now, I closed my eyes. I could still feel that leaden weight, holding me a captive in my own skin, overshadowing my will with a fiery determination that was ancient and brutal and _merciless_. Would he have really let Kaiba die to win the duel? I wanted so badly to believe that the Spirit (the same Spirit who had saved my friends and I from the evil spirit of the Millennium Ring, and who had rescued Mai's Star Chips from Panik, and who had coached Jounouchi, and who had guided me through countless duels) wouldn't…but I knew in my heart that he would have let Kaiba take the hit.

And the worst part is that I knew he wouldn't have done it to save my Grandpa.

No.

He would've done it just to win.

Because this Spirit—whoever, or whatever, it was—could not stand to lose.

_I've never backed away, and I'm not starting now…_

The truth in those words dripped like ice down my spine, whispering of a being who never held back, who never showed mercy, who never conceded, and who never accepted defeat. Who _was_ this Spirit that I had blindly let take control of my body?

Fear curdled deep inside of me, making my stomach roll, and I hunched over even further on my hands and knees. The weight of my deck in the dueling disk on my arm was a stone, and the thought of using those cards, of even considering another duel, made my skin crawl. How could I ever let myself duel again, knowing the dangers I did now? If I did, _He_ might take over again.

And I couldn't take that risk.

I couldn't let him duel for me.

Not anymore.

Because now I knew…

I could not trust this Spirit.

I cringed as I heard the faintest of whispers deep inside my mind, _"I…I'm sorry, Yuugi..."_

The voice was lost, unsure of itself, and sounded terribly alone, and my heart almost broke…

But the way He had fought me for control of my body was still fresh in my mind. And _hearing _him was another reminder that I had something I didn't understand, something I could barely control, living just under my skin.

I closed my mind. And I felt his presence disappear.

I got to my feet, slowly, my head hanging.

_Broken_.

My eyes landed on my duelist glove, the empty star-shaped holes gaping, sharp edges glinting, laughing, mocking my loss.

Reality finally set in.

I had really lost.

I had come all this way…

_I'm sorry, Grandpa._

And just like that.

_I'm so sorry._

It was over.

* * *

A/N: Thanks so much for reading all the way to the end! If you liked it, please take a few moments and leave a short review for me. Thanks!


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